Screw you, Chase

I mentioned a while back that I'd opened up an HSBC checking account because I hate Chase with a hate that burns undying. Today I was finally able to confirm that the last pending charge I was waiting for had hit my old account, so I went over to a Chase branch to close it.

I'd expected them to give me a hard time, but I really wasn't prepared for the AOL-esque experience that awaited me. Upon telling a customer service person that I was there to close my checking account, the branch manager herself was summoned to "discuss my concerns." She was probably about eight feet tall and sounded like Darth Vader when she spoke. Her goal, of course, was to talk me out of it - but why she thought hostile badgering was the way to accomplish this is beyond me. (Why was I leaving Chase? What bank was I leaving for? HSBC is a terrible bank! Do they offer X, Y, and Z? Well, Chase does! Where do I work? There's a Chase branch closer to that address than the nearest HSBC branch!) Look, lady, I already don't like your bank, thanks to seven years of shitty customer service experiences and unnecessary fees, and you think the way to get me to stay is by yelling at me?

In the end she resorted to trying to argue that my reasons for closing the account were not good enough and that I would only be disappointed if I left for HSBC. I explained that I'd actually already switched to HSBC, and that I wasn't really interested in her opinion of my reasons and that I'd like my money, please. Finally, she literally threw my bank card in disgust and sent me to a teller for a check. Does this strategy ever work, I wonder? Do people ever say, "Gosh, she's really upset! I'd better not close my account so she'll be my friend."

Comments

[Loki]

perhaps if she had offered the free toaster or gunrack...

apparently that can turn around if they most hard-hearted customer ;D

[Loki]

that was supposed to be "turn around even the most..." I have this theory that my skill with grammar is proportional to the amount of coffee I drink...and I haven't had any coffee yet this morning :}

[flargh]

I had a similar experience with Verizon and my DSL line. I'd called to cancel it in early April, but due to the fact that I'm lazy and had it set up to automatically pay the bill, hadn't realized it had never been done until this week.

I called to request a shutoff, and the first person I spoke with was reasonably helpful and volunteered a 90 day credit. Then she transferred me to the account disconnection department, and I got to hear a scripted rigamarole that was similar to your Chase experience.

"Do you realize that you're making yourself liable to Internet fraud by going to cable modem access?" he asked.

"Well, it hasn't been a problem, and I've had cable modem access for 9 years now."

"Would a 30-day credit change your mind?"

"You're already giving me a 90-day credit. So, um, no."

Etc.

[flargh]

I had a similar experience with Verizon and my DSL line. I'd called to cancel it in early April, but due to the fact that I'm lazy and had it set up to automatically pay the bill, hadn't realized it had never been done until this week.

I called to request a shutoff, and the first person I spoke with was reasonably helpful and volunteered a 90 day credit. Then she transferred me to the account disconnection department, and I got to hear a scripted rigamarole that was similar to your Chase experience.

"Do you realize that you're making yourself liable to Internet fraud by going to cable modem access?" he asked.

"Well, it hasn't been a problem, and I've had cable modem access for 9 years now."

"Would a 30-day credit change your mind?"

"You're already giving me a 90-day credit. So, um, no."

Etc.

[ascend]

As a corporate goth (working undercover if you will) in the world of finance, I've heard this story many times...its the reason i never mention my employer to friends and family...not another 'I went to xyz and they etc, etc' 'ugh, i dont work on the consumer side mom...'

In general, the staff at the branch level are closer to fast food employees in terms of customer service quality. The pay range is low and senior management normally turns a blind eye to complaints. In their view, branch banking is a high fixed cost business in a world moving more and more to internet banking and electronic payments... overall, the smaller, regional banks need your deposits as a cheap source of funds. The larger banks can fund assets in other markets...

If you have 'high net worth', private client services is the way to go. The growth in this market is strong and banks want people willing to pay. As far as I know, HSBC has a good reputation in asia, but they are working hard to build a better presence in the us (barclays and ING as well)...anyways, doubt that helped....